You Can't Be Serious

I apparently let my Superman/Clark Kent double persona be known and now I will never be able to live in secrecy again. I showed up at work in street clothes,freshly showered and having made some attempt at being "pretty". One of our regulars kept watching me, which may seem creepy but is the norm in my profession and therefore nothing to think twice about. He didn't say one word. Until I showed up at work the next day looking like death warmed over, a fresh oil slick in my mane and clothes so unwearable, I had to chase them out of the laundry basket just an hour before. I take great pride in my presentation at work, obviously. This gentleman proceeded to ask me if I was the girl he saw the previous day stacking cups and looking, in his words "somewhat attractive". Thanks, pencil dick. I confirmed his suspicion that he had a small dick and also that I was indeed the person he saw. While I know you are dying to hear the back story of this jerk off, and believe me, I want to tell you, first you have to hear what he said to me. Not joking, not the least bit ashamed...he says "Well, you probably don't want anyone to know you work at S********". Wait...what? Explain to me again how I could hide my place of employment by wearing glasses and a ponytail. You do realize that Christopher Reeve was a real person playing in a movie and that there is no way I could find a public phone booth in 2011.

I am not ashamed of the the place I work. I do appreciate that this guy is ashamed for me. He feels that the most important thing you can ever do in your life is to get a PhD and tell other people how important you are, all the while having coffee by yourself every afternoon at 3. His daughter won't go to college and after meeting her dad, I can understand the reasoning. Not wanting to be a lonely know-it-all with a receding hair line seems reason enough for anyone. Yes, my secret is out. I dress like a homeless person for work and wear glasses so I don't miss the stop light on my way there. Ipso facto, I have a lot of amazing people who depend on me being there including the really lonely PhD who is apparently too smart to make his own coffee.