Anyone out there remember getting allowance for doing the dishes, cleaning your room or going to school? Me either. Let's bring that shit back, ASAP. My husband and I recently started down the allowance highway and I for one am starting to regret we ever did. When our kids were young, we had them help with chores sans monetary benefit and paid for all the little extras they wanted. Snow cones, toys, candy, ice cream and dollar store shit that broke before we made it home. Our reasoning for allowance was to teach our kids about the value of money and let them decide what was more important, the $4.00 snow cone or saving for a huge Lego set that would be built and torn down in less than an hour. Decisions, decisions. It's not working out as well as we had hoped. The fight to get these brats to do chores has worsened, because now they see it as a negotiation tool to obtain more cash for less work. It's tricky business.
Us: "Okay, 7, it's your turn to do the dishes."
7: "I'll do it if you give me one more dollar of allowance."
Wrong, you little Wall Street tycoon, that is included in the $20.00 a month that we drop in your piggy bank and let me just say, that is more than I got during my entire childhood. It's become some sort of bargaining tool and it comes with attitude that I had hoped was reserved for those little assholes on My Sweet 16, where parents abuse their kids by spending $5,000 on a fucking birthday party. Shoot me, if I ever invite you to one of those. Here's a normal conversation with 10.
Us: "Will you please clean up the front room and take all your stuff upstairs?"
10: "Why do I have to do everything?"
Yes, folks, she does everything. If by everything, you mean one chore a day that takes a maximum of 15 minutes. When I was a kid, back in the age of the dinosaurs, we did chores because we lived and ate in our parent's house. That was just part of the deal. These little monkeys have more cash in their ceramic pig than I have in my wallet at any given moment. I have been half tempted to sneak in their rooms, stuff that cash in my undies and make my way to Athleta for a mommy day out. We do make them pay for any extras they want and that has seemed to expand their horizons on how fast money can be spent, but the work included to get that money seems to be lost on them.
This parenting thing is a work in progress and a pretty fucking expensive venture at that. I'm ready to kick it old school with these punks and tell them what my dad told me when I asked for money..."Get a job."
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