I Did The Scariest Thing And Survived

There are a lot of things I am afraid of; swimming in the deep part of the ocean, getting pulled over by a cop, watching my daughter grow into a woman and losing people I love. I am also afraid of reading my work in front of other people. Namely, complete strangers who are also writers. These people are usually readers and well versed in what is good and what is shitty. They know how it feels to write and rewrite and then want to burn every single word on the page. They have read funny and they have been offended by off color humor. They have heard hundreds of people say hundreds of times "My friend has a blog and it's really funny. You should check it out." Most of the time they don't and if they do, it's not as good as it was promised to be. I didn't want to be that friend.

I went to this writing conference with the intention of taking classes and workshops and keeping my mouth shut. When I was perusing the schedule, I allowed the highlighter to skip any workshop that included reading or critiquing. I told myself that my writing wasn't ready. The truth is, I wasn't ready.

I brought writing samples with the intention of having my author friend look over them, without me around and tell me how I could change them and make them better. He kindly informed me that I would be "getting my cherry popped" and taking a reading/critique class. Possibly more than one. My stomach immediately knotted up and I am still getting over the diarrhea it induced.

So I did it. And I didn't die. I read my work in two separate workshops and the feedback I received was astounding. I wanted to cry and hug people and finish my book and scream from the tallest building "They like it, they really like it!!" I know this feeling won't last forever, but it has given me the kick in the ass I needed to keep going. To stop questioning what I am doing, to own my writing, to share my writing and to admit that I, too, am a writer. You heard it here first, I'm a writer and I don't care who knows.

If you haven't already, please check out my friend John's website. He has some very entertaining blog posts and you can watch a trailer about the book he wrote called Where Excuses Go To Die. I've read it, I love it and you can read my review on Goodreads. He is an author worth following.
www.whereexcusesgotodie.com

What I'm Up To This Month

Image courtesy of dc.about.com

Favorite month!!!! We all know what makes October amazing, but let's review. Pumpkin Spice lattes at Starbucks, pumpkin loaf, pumpkin muffins, pumpkins, cool weather, hoodies, boots, boots with leg warmers, sweater dresses, my birthday, candy, caramel apples, trick or treating, carving pumpkins, leaves, photo ops, my birthday, pumpkin rolls, soup in the crock pot and, let's not forget, my birthday. I don't think I mentioned that.

This month is especially exciting because I have decided to put all other projects on the back burner and write. Not for other blogs, not a ton for this blog, but for my book. I am making it my job this month and I am super excited and completely mortified. I have about 17,000 words so far and my goal is 80,000, so I have some work to do. There is a lengthy list in my phone of ideas for stories and the longer it gets, the more overwhelmed I feel. Will I get published? Will I make money? I don't know. That is my hope, my dream. It's what drives me and depresses me. It's what I long for and fear. I am tackling it this month. My intention is to finish my rough draft and be ready to do my first edit in November, find a book whore (thanks for that recommendation, Robin) to edit it again and find out if there is a place for me in this industry. I don't yet know how to get there, but I am determined to learn.

So, there will be blog posts on here. I don't know when or what about, but they will be here. It is a daunting road I am embarking on and I am sure there will be days that I can't go any farther. Thank goodness you will be here to shove me off the cliff, to remind me to keep going. I need that. You should keep going, too. Whether it is photography, painting, starting your own business, staying home with your kiddos, or pursuing a great relationship, begin this month. Make a plan and live your dream. I would love to walk this scary path with you, my friends.

If you haven't yet, check out my most recent post on mythirtyspot.
http://www.mythirtyspot.com/2013/09/an-interview-of-lifetime-sitting-down.html

Frightening Carpool

I wouldn't be my first choice for a carpool mom. My car can accommodate five small clowns, four normal sized humans or two basketball players. The middle seat belt is broken and there is usually a two week supply of water bottles and coffee cups lining the floor. It's a recycling bin, so shut up. My kids are used to the funky smell, but it's not really suitable for other children. And yet, my neighbor wanted to carpool. I wanted to carpool as well, because that would free up my afternoon to read in my bed with the covers over my head, instead of sitting in the carpool lane for an hour waiting for my kids to stroll out of class at a turtle pace. My husband or I drive in the morning and she picks up in the afternoon. As you may remember, I don't get ready for the day before 11 am, so not only are the neighbor kids subjected to my sweet ride but also my smelly yoga pants and bare feet at 8:30 am.

Here's what I love/hate about carpool; I learn a lot about my neighbors, politics and as of yesterday, horror movies. I don't watch horror movies because I was traumatized at the tender age of 8 while at my friend's slumber party when they turned on Nightmare on Elm Street. It scared me straight. I hate haunted houses, surprise parties, zombies, pointy teeth, and the sound of chainsaws. Yes, my birthday is on Halloween and I know that you think I should like all these things for that reason and that reason alone. But I don't. I fucking hate them. I like pumpkins, mini candy bars, leaves and cute costumes. Like Dora The Explorer or a sheet with eye holes cut out. That's Halloween. Anyway, we are driving to school yesterday and I hear the neighbor kids say "Yeah, it's real. He cut people's skin off their body and made masks out of it." This is from a 2nd grader. As I peek in the backseat, I see my 2nd grader has pulled his legs into his hooded shirt, the hood over his face and is humming. Basically, he's gone into shock.
"You guys can't talk about that stuff around him, he has nightmare's." (Without knowing about horror movies.)

Thankfully, the conversation ceased and we made it to school without my son rocking himself out the car door. When I mentioned it to my husband he said "Jesus, they let those kids watch Silence of The Lambs?" I didn't know that they were talking about a specific movie. (See previous paragraph). While I did bear witness to this particular show, IN MY 20'S, it was due to the fact that someone lied to me and said it was "suspenseful but not scary." Wrong.

Now we get to my rant and this is directed at all of you parents who allow your young children to watch really disturbing horror movies, WHAT THE FUCK???? Yes, they are your kids and it is your decision. Here is my issue.....please have a conversation with them about the fact that not all kindergartners have seen Jason and they really shouldn't bring it up at a play date. Or talk about skin masks during carpool. I tell my kids that not everyone they hang out with drinks alcohol and coffee, so they shouldn't request a martini while at a play date. (It's a joke, they only drink coffee.) My kids don't watch zombies eating humans' faces off because...well.....they are kids. Life is scary enough without wondering when some random ax murderer is going to chop down your bedroom door. So, yes, you have every right to let your kids watch that shit, but a little common courtesy would be great. Truth be told, I don't even need to know about skin masks and I'm 34. End rant.