Tomorrow....For Sure.

If you are not married with kids, this may not make any sense to you. Or if you are a sex addict. Or you're a man. When you squeeze an actual human being out of a hole the size of half dollar, you may lose the desire to ever see a penis again. When this happens, don't judge yourself and don't tell your husband that you will never have intercourse with him again. He may hide in his office and take up a part time job as a professional viewer of free porn. I know how you feel, friend. I had two babies and I was sure after losing that much blood and being up 24 hours a day taking care of newborn, I was never going to have the desire to bone again. I remember dreading my six week check up, I didn't want the thumbs up to get frisky and I knew I couldn't lie to my man and tell him that the doctor had forbid me from getting laid for at least another 18 months. Just to be safe. She wouldn't say that and I would come home to a raging hard on. Here's how I got past my fear, lack of a sex drive and starting loving my husband again.
Ask for help and when he helps, let him do it his way. Let him rock the baby to sleep at night while you take a hot bath and shave your giant 70's bush.  It's a win win for everyone. You are physically preparing to be seen naked again and your husband gets to bond with the baby. Take him up on his offer to do anything you usually do. And bitch, please don't mother him about it, he is your husband not another kid to train. He won't do it your way but it will get done. End of story.
Stop hating your body. It does look different and for many of us that will not change, even with diet and exercise. My last child was born almost 7 years ago and I am in better shape than I have ever been, but I will always have extra belly fat and stretch marks. It is a reminder that I gave birth to two beautiful babies. I always think of my daughter when I start to complain about my stomach...I wonder what it would sound like to be in her shoes listening to me complain about what she did to my body? That must be a slap in the face. I get to love my body at many different sizes and be seen naked by the person I married at all different sizes. My husband gets to have great sex at all different weights, why can't I?
My last piece of advice has saved my marriage. Sex was our fight. Always. I wondered what was wrong with me, what was wrong with him and when it would get better. During one of our many counseling sessions, one of the therapists advised me to start my morning off by thinking about sex with my husband. To tone down my OCD tendencies during the day and give myself a rest so that when it was time to get hot and heavy, I wasn't exhausted. She told me to think about all the wonderful things my husband does, about when we first met, what qualities I loved about him and surprisingly enough, it worked. I took care of me when the sun was up and in turn, I was able to take care of business at night.
I realized that my need for perfection was keeping me from having amazing sex. I was spending so much time taking care of a baby and trying to be superhuman that I didn't make time for the other person who made this journey possible. I hated my chubby body and I had ridiculous expectations. That shit had to go out the window and fast. When I started asking for help and let go of every detail, I had energy to laugh and love.
It's completely fucking normal to need some time to heal and don't be afraid to share that with your partner but when it's time, don't let your insecurities keep you from getting a good romp in the sack. You need it as much as your man does. Maybe more, mama.