Day 14: What is a gift?
It was destined to happen, right? The day where I was so busy, so overwhelmed, and could't see how or where I would fit in giving a gift. That was today. I needed to do payroll, get some writing assignments sent off and get back home in time to clean up and make dinner. As I retrace my day, I can see many times where I gave a gift, but not with full intention and then I got all fucked up in my head and say "Well, that doesn't count." Picking up a drink for my hubby, taking a check to the bank so he didn't have to, making food, cleaning and laughing with my kids. This is a running theme in my life. I have a tendency to undervalue what I do and see the greatness in others when they do the same thing. Even after working for a few hours, coming home to play with my kids, making spaghetti dinner for my family and cleaning up the kitchen, I told myself I hadn't given a gift. I had failed. I would have to start over and begin with Day 1, as they recommend in the book. I was overwhelmed with the thought of starting over after being almost halfway through my challenge.
Then I remembered one of the gifts I had read about in the book, the author had made her husband dinner one evening. It was big for her because she struggled with MS and had been unable to cook, clean or even leave her house alone. Here is what I told myself....I make dinner every night and I don't have MS and I need to do something bigger and now I have failed. I almost allowed it to get me so bummed out that I contemplated quitting the challenge all together.
After a couple of days to get over myself, I realize that I did give my family a gift by making dinner and that regardless of how big or small it may seem, it is a gift. I learn a lot about myself through this blog and this challenge especially, today I learned that what I expect from myself is sometimes ridiculously unreachable.
Day 15: The Job No One Wants
I have a few jobs around my house that I detest tackling, ie; scrubbing bathtubs, cleaning showers, making beds and dusting blinds. I would imagine that most people who work, whether at home or away, have a few things they avoid doing or begrudgingly tackle only when its absolutely necessary. At our small business, its pulling items. There are rows and rows of bins and numerous pages that need to be done, which can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours depending on sales. It's monotonous. Wandering the warehouse, pulling bags out of bins and realizing after an hour that you still have two more pages to go before you throw yourself off the roof. It is right up there with scrubbing tubs, for me.
Saturday's at our house are usually spent at home getting chores done or taking the kids on an outing. This weekend, my hubby had to work and I had a couple of hours to spare before a party, so we all went to the warehouse together. My daughter wanted to work, but no one wanted to pull the 7 pages of items that needed to be shipped. That would be my gift today. I took the pages and left my family in the cool office while I tackled spiders and heat in the warehouse. I actually enjoyed myself. I daydreamed about what my kids would be like when they grew up and where I would like to travel. It's amazing how shifting my attitude from "UGH" to "HOORAY", changed even the most lackluster job.
Today, I also received a much needed phone call from a friend who had just finished reading the last few weeks of blog posts on here. She called to let me know how amazing she thought my writing was and how she wanted to share it with everyone she knew. I was having a grouchy evening and it meant so much to me to hear that she was reading, enjoying and sharing my blog. When I feel like punching a wall, the Universe sends me the love I need. It's no accident.
Day 16: Saying I Love You
We hear it all the time, make sure to tell the ones you love how much you care about them before it's too late. A few years back, it almost was too late. My sister was in a terrible head on collision on the interstate while she was headed to work one morning. The roads were covered in snow and she was bumped by a semi-truck which sent her spinning into oncoming traffic. It happened that fast. One moment she was driving to work and the next moment she was trapped in her car with shattered glass filling her mouth and a broken femur. There is no way to explain how bad her car was damaged except to say that the insurance adjuster didn't believe my mother when she told him that my sister had survived the accident. Had I told her the day before that I loved her? Had I talked to her in the last week? I don't know. I don't remember. And that is not okay with me. I never want my family or friends to wonder if they were loved, to wonder how I felt about them or question how important they are in my life.
My gift today was a phone call and a text message to two people I love very much. I don't want to miss a single opportunity to share that with people in my life.
Today, I also received a phone call from someone I gifted last week, thanking me for the package he received in the mail. It was heartwarming to hear his voice and know that the small token I had given was appreciated. Giving is also about receiving....receiving thanks without saying "It's no problem" or "It wasn't that much". Instead I received the gift of thanks with "You are welcome." The end.
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