There are a lot of things I am afraid of; swimming in the deep part of the ocean, getting pulled over by a cop, watching my daughter grow into a woman and losing people I love. I am also afraid of reading my work in front of other people. Namely, complete strangers who are also writers. These people are usually readers and well versed in what is good and what is shitty. They know how it feels to write and rewrite and then want to burn every single word on the page. They have read funny and they have been offended by off color humor. They have heard hundreds of people say hundreds of times "My friend has a blog and it's really funny. You should check it out." Most of the time they don't and if they do, it's not as good as it was promised to be. I didn't want to be that friend.
I went to this writing conference with the intention of taking classes and workshops and keeping my mouth shut. When I was perusing the schedule, I allowed the highlighter to skip any workshop that included reading or critiquing. I told myself that my writing wasn't ready. The truth is, I wasn't ready.
I brought writing samples with the intention of having my author friend look over them, without me around and tell me how I could change them and make them better. He kindly informed me that I would be "getting my cherry popped" and taking a reading/critique class. Possibly more than one. My stomach immediately knotted up and I am still getting over the diarrhea it induced.
So I did it. And I didn't die. I read my work in two separate workshops and the feedback I received was astounding. I wanted to cry and hug people and finish my book and scream from the tallest building "They like it, they really like it!!" I know this feeling won't last forever, but it has given me the kick in the ass I needed to keep going. To stop questioning what I am doing, to own my writing, to share my writing and to admit that I, too, am a writer. You heard it here first, I'm a writer and I don't care who knows.
If you haven't already, please check out my friend John's website. He has some very entertaining blog posts and you can watch a trailer about the book he wrote called Where Excuses Go To Die. I've read it, I love it and you can read my review on Goodreads. He is an author worth following.
www.whereexcusesgotodie.com
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ReplyDeleteIt's scary to present yourself to a group that includes publishing industry professionals, literary agents, and best-selling authors like, Dale Brown, Joseph Wambaugh (and the man who wrote Schindler's List). You did however, and your work was very well received. "Bridget Jones with Claws," someone said of you. I'm proud to have agreed with them. Oh and, you just told the earth I used the "getting my cherry popped" analogy. When abruptly seen from the recipient's perspective –um– ewww. And it's not like you took it out of context. You quoted me accurately. I indeed said that. Gross. Old-timey. Mad men. Never again.
ReplyDeleteGreat post! This is exactly the scary step all aspiring writers should take, but it's so incredibly hard to do. Still, nothing is more important than coming to terms with whether or not you've got the balls (hey, one good cherry deserves...) it takes to put yourself on the line. You can write in a closet, but if you ever wanna be an author, you've got to be prepared for the lights to come on.
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