My Giving Challenge: Dinner, Painting and Gratitude For My Kids

When I started this challenge, I thought that this month would take forever. While I was excited, it felt like an enormous task that I didn't have time to take on. The last thing I needed was one more thing to add to my daily to-do list. I also wasn't sure that I could finish it the way I wanted to.

As I prepare for my final week, I am sad and also inspired to continue giving. I don't want it to end. I have been challenging myself now for three weeks, day in and day out to stretch, to give, to forgo my judgments, to thank, to love, and to share myself. I want to keep it going. It has made me happy, pushed me to meet new people and enhanced my life in a way I never expected. There were days it was a challenge to find a gift, days I wanted to say "Fuck it, no one will know" but I persevered. I am so glad I did.

What if this could be a life commitment? What if we all made this a life commitment? A gift every single day of your life. I like to imagine what our community, our state, our nation and our world would look like if we made commitments based on giving instead of hurting, stealing, judging, or fighting.

Day 21: Dinner and Drinks
Today I wanted my gift to be taking my best friend out for a birthday dinner and drinks. She is a stay at home mom and spends 24/7 running her butt off and rarely gets an extended break from her kiddos. We made plans to go out for Thai food and a couple beers. As we shared a meal and caught up on husband shenanigans, our kid's summer boredom, and where we would run away to for a week, the check came. Even though I had told her I was taking her out, she went for her purse.
"I am taking you out for your birthday. Put your wallet back."
She begrudgingly did, but attempted to pay for beer at our next stop. The gentleman getting our beer order overheard me telling her (again!!!) that because it was her birthday, I was picking up the tab. My friend is very private, a bit shy and doesn't like to be the center of attention. Unfortunately for her, this guy started singing Happy Birthday in her honor. It was awesome. We were all singing, laughing and celebrating a woman who deserves nothing less.

This gift was one of the hardest to give because the recipient was so resistant to receiving. While I know she was grateful, she didn't feel deserving. It is a beautiful lesson for me, because I know I have been resistant when people offered me gifts in the past. That is going to change. I have also learned that being a gracious recipient is a gift to the giver. When a gift is offered, know in your heart that you deserve it and accept with an open heart.

Day 22: Painting
The Universe provided a path for me to spend Saturday on an outdoor project, which is exactly what I wanted to do with my day. It almost didn't happen, because I slept through my damn alarm and was running 30 minutes behind. Thankfully, my husband woke me up in enough time for me to throw some clothes on, grab a coffee and get my early bird face on. I checked my phone as I was getting my gear together and my mom had called and left a message at 6:35 am. It was odd because she is not a morning person either; you are more likely to find us finishing a novel at 2 am than out running a 5K at 6 am. I thought it might be an emergency, so I immediately called her back.

"Have you left your house yet?" she asked.
"No. What's up? Are you okay?" I asked
"Yeah. I'm almost to your house. I want to come volunteer with you today."
Had I woke up on time, she would have missed me. It all happens for a reason.

We headed out on our adventure. Once we arrived, we signed in, received a free t shirt, grabbed a quick bite and chose our jobs. Mom didn't care which area we worked, so I signed us up for painting. Our group was a fantastic mishmash of teens, middle aged men, gals in their 20's and even a few kids. We were all working toward the same goal, painting the exterior of a home in four hours. There were three colors, intricate detail work, eaves that would require a 30 foot ladder and a shed to build. Seem impossible?

They asked for volunteers who weren't afraid of heights to do the painting work on the highest part of the eaves and I raised my hand. I made my way up a wobbly ladder, leaning precariously against the house and started working. As I began to grasp how massive our project was, it reminded me of a poem by Shel Silverstein where a girl says she is going to eat a whale and so she starts taking small bites and after 96 years she eats that whale.....because she said she would. We didn't have 96 years but I knew if we kept taking one bite at a time, it would come together. The neighbors were wandering around, checking out our progress and giving unwarranted advice about what we were doing wrong. There was one woman who was sipping on her mug of coffee and chatting with the volunteers. At one point, I noticed she had brought a cup of coffee out to share with my mom. It was heartwarming. My mom had stepped outside of her comfort zone to come volunteer with me and the universe was thanking her. It may seem small, but no act of kindness can go unnoticed.

After four hours of hard work, paint in my eye, a gallon of paint dropped from a ledge, a color change and lots of laughing we were done. We had created something in half of a day that would have taken one person an entire week, because we had worked together. Our shirts said it all 'We Are Better Together'.
We certainly are.

Day 23: Gratitude For My Kids
I tell other people all the time how wonderful I think my kids are. They amaze me with their humor, love for people and ability to move through life effortlessly. They don't wonder if they are capable or good enough because they live in a truth that we lose as adults, that we are all capable and enough. I strive to tell them daily how much I love them, but I feel that I don't tell them enough why they are so wonderful in my life. We all need to hear that sometimes. Today I sat down and wrote them each a personal thank you card with a long list of reasons that they are important to the world, their unique talents and a reminder from me that no matter where they go on their journey of life, I will love them more than the sun and the moon forever and ever. It's a gift we all deserve to give and receive numerous times in our life.

Gratititude

Why gratitude? There are thousands of thoughts, ideas and hilarious quips I could share with you today but I feel gratitude deserves a little time in the spotlight. It may seem insignificant to say out loud what you are grateful for and sometimes it is even easier to berate yourself and others. We spend so much time talking about what is wrong in our lives, what we wish would change, or what others have done to fuck it all up for us. The truth is easy to profess and hard to hear. When you are grateful, the universe provides exactly what you need.
When I started my GratiTuesday lists, it was challenging to find more that a couple things I was grateful for. I felt irritated about what I didn't have, who didn't love me and where my life wasn't going. I would angrily post a couple things and then backspace through all of it. Why should I be grateful? Bad things had happened, people left and I didn't have room on my credit card for those yoga pants I really wanted. Petty? Yes. But that was my truth. As the weeks went on, I had more and more to be grateful for even when life was hard. I was more willing to empathize and I suddenly needed less in my life to feel grateful.
We all have something to be grateful for. Start with being on this planet as a one of a kind human being. No one else looks, laughs, hugs, sings, farts or breathes exactly like you. That is pretty amazing! Begin with that and keep going. There are Tuesdays I am grateful for people I love and blessings I have in my life while other weeks find me grateful for sleep and a good, stiff drink. Let it take you where it will.
We are also working to instill this beautiful ideal into our children. Once a month, sometimes more and sometimes less, we go around the dinner table and share what we are grateful for. You will be amazed at what you hear. My kids, who like normal offspring, beg for video games and throw fits about not seeing their friends, are the most grateful people I know. They talk about their gratitude for our president, for having two happy parents, and for yummy food that mommy is home to make for them. I cry at these dinners, usually more than once. Try a gratitude dinner at your house tonight. It's a looking glass into the hearts of the people who love you the most.

GratiTuesday: My husband; who works extremely hard to provide for our family, free time, coffee, Costco tortillas, people who read my blog (YES, YOU!!), great books, laughing fits, and dying Easter eggs.

My heart is full and I know the Universe has wonderful things in store for me. They may not all be pleasurable but I am grateful to be here to experience them. What are you grateful for today?