This is for any of you who may feel the need to act like a complete imbecile while at a coffee shop, it is a guide of things you should never do, things that may cause you to get decafed or worse. You don't want to know what worse is.
1. Do not pay for a $4 dollar drink with all pennies that you count out to me in five cent increments. It takes 20 minutes of my time and leads me to believe that you should probably save it for a gallon of milk or diapers for your baby. Just sayin.
2. Do not call me "Dream Girl" when you hear my name over the drive thru speaker. It screams creep show. You know I am married and I have never given you the impression I was available. Not only that, but you need to take a hard look at who is really in your league and who is not. I would fall in the 'not' category.
3. Do not expect me to guess what drink your best friend's boyfriend's mom got for you last summer that was really good and slushy. That describes about 1,300 drinks here, friend. Then you stand staring at me while you relate how good it was and that you want me to make it just like that. Nope, not a mind reader.
4. Do not yell the minute you get to the speaker "Hello!!". I will greet you appropriately within one minute of you pulling up, which will then indicate that I am ready to take your order. Yelling at me before that time will lead to dire consequences that I cannot now relate. What's great is that when you pull this maneuver, 9 times out of 10 you aren't ready to order anyway...so stop being an ass.
I look forward to serving you soon. :)
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