Rethink That, Please.

I saw a few traumatizing style choices that I would like to share with you today so you don't make the same mistake.
1. 80's outfit that really was made in the 80's. Admit it, you never stopped wearing those tight stone washed jeans, pointy heels and hair that is ratted high enough to touch the ceiling in your car. Just happened to be a lucky break for you that all that shit is back in style again, minus the hair. You really should take it down a few notches. I don't know if anyone has informed you, but you are in your early 40's now, not late teens. You look ridiculous.
2. Severe bun on the very top of your head. I can tell it's on purpose and you may even believe it looks attractive, but I challenge you to look again. It makes you look old, tacky and lazy. Back that bun up about four inches and then come out in public...until then you should probably stay holed up in your double wide with your bestie who's style we previously covered.
3. Any person over the age of 20 wearing a Disneyland character sweatshirt. I know you feel the joy of spending way too much money every year to wait in long lines and drink $7.00 soda pop, but no one cares. Not only do we not care, but bragging with that sweatshirt and matching backpack is reserved for children. You are now in your 30's wearing a Donald Duck sweatshirt to work with pics of you and every Disney character you could tackle on your trip. Maybe it's time to let the kids enjoy the most "Magical Place on Earth" and you could try dating. I know, its been awhile.
4. Dudes wearing no shirts. I have a special place in my heart for my husband in the back yard mowing the lawn with no shirt. I am attracted to his gut and sneaky peaky little butt crack, but that is for me to enjoy. I do not enjoy seeing your husband, brother, dad, or god forbid grandpa getting groceries, gas, coffee or breakfast in nothing but running shorts and flip flops. Yuck. You obviously haven't ever run so who are we fooling here? Someone finds you attractive and it's not me. Please keep your hairy back, weird colored nipples, and glory trail out of public view. It's disturbing.