Winners And Why We Can't Have Nice Things

I need this on a t-shirt, if anyone was interested in shopping for me four months before my birthday. 

In other news, I picked the winners for the favorite things contest and guess what? All you awesome assholes are getting something!!! I'm talking to the eight of you who shared my post on FB, you know who you are. I couldn't pick just one or even just four, so I decided to do the only fair thing and pick all of you. Here's how it will pan out. I will pick one of the favorites from the list (no, you don't get to vote), I will mail it to your house (if I don't have your address, I will stalk you and get it), and for those of you who are getting beer, this story gets really interesting, because I will personally be bringing it to your house. Beer doesn't ship well, USPS doesn't appreciate it and I can't afford the shipping charges. I think I know all of you winners well enough to pick something you will like and if not, you can suck it. You are getting free shit.

Where did that fantastic Hump Day blog go?

Not too long ago, I was devoting Wednesday to the dirty deed (SEX..shhh) and it was a good time for all of us. That has ended, and unlike Superman, there will be no shitty remake. Here's the long and short of it. Mostly the long, so we will call it a Brittany story and if you don't get the reference, I have a friend you need to meet. When I check my blog stats, which I do often in order to decide if I'm happy or depressed, I can check where people have entered my blog from. So, as we would all expect, it's usually Facebook, mythirtyspot.com, Google or lately, lizzieg.com, so thank you for that. A few weeks ago, I was scrolling through and there was a website that I didn't recognize, so like an idiot I clicked on the link to find out where people were coming from.(There's a pun in there somewhere.) For a few days, I was getting most of my entries from this mystery site. (That last bit will be funny in a minute...wait for it.) It turned out to be a pay-per-view porn site.

We are all clear on the fact that I don't care if people look at that, I wrote an entire post about adding that to your bag of relationship tricks. I assume that is how I got linked to it in the first place. What I do care about however,  is that my blog and my writing isn't solely attached to that type of website. I would like to make a career out of writing and I don't need my hilarious sex stories to be taken out of context. They were meant for adults in healthy relationships who possess a sense of humor, not some perv who lives in his mom's basement and hasn't showered in four months. Since I have taken a permanent vacation from hump day blogs, I have returned to the pure entry (get it?) of sites that I don't have to pay for. You can sleep well tonight knowing that I have not stopped writing about sex, but now you will have to wait for me to get published and buy the book. Someone had to ruin it, which is why we can't have nice things.