Get Your O Face On

Here is my unfounded hesitation with writing about sex every week. What kind of weirdos will be reading my blog and try to make something nasty out of the honesty I am trying to create? I don't know the answer, but I do know that the feedback I am getting from those of you who are reading my blog regularly, is that you love the info I share on Hump Day. Until I see that change is necessary, Hump day is all about humping.
(These posts are for adults in healthy relationships with other adults.) 
I hope this posting finds you sexually satisfied and having the elusive O at least twice a week. That's if you are old, like me, and not getting laid every fucking day. Rumor has it, there are people who have sex more than twice a week. I feel about these people the same way I do about unicorns, just because I hear about them doesn't make them real. My husband has been convinced for years that everyone else is getting laid more than he is and I am convinced that if I have to hear that one more time, I may have to cut our sessions back to once a week.
The frequency is less important to me than the quality. I have certain expectations when I slide my panties off and one of those expectations is having at least one O face. That's right, ladies. AT LEAST ONE!!! If you haven't kept up on sex research, you may not know that women rarely have fireworks with intercourse only. We need a little more help to reach the peak of pleasure and as you have probably surmised,  it is easy for guys to forget that part of your romp. Perhaps you have a thoughtful lover or perhaps you do not. It does not matter either way. You need to know how to take care of you, with or without a partner.
Do you see where I am going with this? MASTURBATION. Yes, even when you are with another person this could possibly be your best bet to finding as much enjoyment in the sack as your partner has found. I will leave the specifics up to you but I highly recommend that you research the following: mini vibrators,water based lubrication, soft core porn and how to touch yourself. May I suggest trying the last two in the comfort of your own home and not using your work computer for research. I know that many of these suggestions are not in line with some people's values and to that I say, I hope you enjoy never having an orgasm. Seriously, you deserve a more pleasurable sex life.
For those of you Type A personalities who are so uptight that you don't get far enough into the hike to even see the peak, I have some words of wisdom for you. Chill the fuck out!!! Stop worrying about your grocery  list, what time the kids have piano, and whether or not you look fat. Your grocery list can wait, piano lessons will happen and your body is amazing!!! Get started on the task of feeling great during sex. As a recovered Type A sex partner, I can attest to the fact that you need to have a one track mind in bed, you will have the most enjoyable experiences. Think only about getting your O face on.
If you are a woman having intercourse with a man, try not concerning yourself with whether or not your partner is happy. Men always seem to have a wonderful time in the sack regardless of your worried little soul. Be selfish!!! Ask for what you want and do what feels good to you. Try new positions, touch yourself (YES!!!) and try for multiple O faces. You will be amazed at how good it feels.