It's Friday And So What!

Happy Mother's Day!!! I am guessing most of you will be able to relate to today's post. We seem to have an illness as women these days, it could be labeled Super Mom or Super Fucking Exhausted Mom. If that sounds familiar, join me this weekend in finding a couple hours to do nothing, except maybe breathe, read, watch your favorite show or see a movie you actually want to sit through. You deserve it!!!

I do too many things. I am not bragging, I am admitting a weakness, like they do in AA. My name is Mandy and I can't relax. Last weekend, my husband asked me what 'normal' people do on Sundays and I spouted off a list of chores I felt would suit him well, to which he nodded and told me he was going golfing. I didn't remember listing that as one of the options. While he doesn't seem to have a problem chilling out for awhile, I haven't perfected that part of my life. Even on the weekends, I rarely sit through a movie at home without throwing in load of laundry or running the dishwasher. TGIF? It may as well be TGIM, it's all the same to me.

We have all heard the old adage about how many hats you wear. It symbolizes the different roles you fill in your life, from mother to PTA president to employee. I have a closet full of hats. I attended a women's retreat last year where we made a list of our roles and described how they made us feel. It took me awhile to get my list accumulated but when I did it was pretty telling. There wasn't one hat I wore that was for me. My hats included responsibilities at home, at work, at my kid's school, and in relationship to others. There wasn't one that said writer, reader, traveler, comedian, or photographer. I am so busy wearing my "for you" hats that I had bypassed the "for me" section. While most of them made me feel accomplished, there weren't any that filled the part of my soul that I freely drained for everyone else. I learned a lot about being a martyr that weekend and realized that I needed to make some changes.

Most days consisted of wearing my Work At Our Business hat immediately followed up by throwing on my Mommy hat so the house wouldn't burn down. I jumped in my car sporting my Other Job I Hate hat, all the time wondering if there was an end to the madness. On the weekends, I could be found doubling up with the Cook hat and then  racing around my house doing chores in my Housekeeper cap. I guzzled a glass of wine, got spotted by my kids and immediately felt the need to shop for an Alcoholic hat. By the end of the day I have worn all the hats I'm "supposed" to and completely bypassed the others. It's all been lovely, but I need to scream.

I made a few changes. They included being honest with my husband about my desire to quit a job I hated and my intention to be a writer. For real. I still wear a lot of hats, but I have since purchased ones that say Writer, Napper, Bath Taker and Hiker.  As a 30-something woman living in this century, I can choose thousands of hats, but now I get to learn how to wear one at a time and give up wearing the ones that drain me.  Now, if I could just figure out this whole 'relaxing on the weekend' thing.