Conferences And Why Bother

How I embody the term, hot mess. 

What was I thinking? I absolutely detest being around large groups of people, I don't know how to dress myself appropriately and only grown ups go to conferences. Grown ups with real jobs and important briefcases. I don't even own a pencil skirt. Or a blazer. Jesus, what the fuck am I going to wear? When Erin, the editor or mythirtyspot, mentioned this "fantastic conference coming to Salt Lake", I thought "Cool for those important people". Then she said I should go; make some connections, listen to some speakers and the dreaded....market yourself. Ugh. I'm really terrible all three of those things, so I'm not sure how I took it this far. Let's blame my husband. Erin warned me that the tickets would sell out quickly and that I should really keep my eyes peeled for the email regarding availability. I probably should have asked her up front how much the ticket would be before I yapped my mouth to the hubs about it. He was more excited than I was. "If it's here in Utah, you should really go. That is a great opportunity."

It is a great opportunity. For normal people. For people who don't have anxiety about their writing and their inability to see themselve as an adult. Or even dress like one. After signing up for the Alt Summit newsletter, I received an email regarding the conference that they would be hosting in Salt Lake City this January.
"The cost of per ticket will be around $600." Around??? Like, around below and within my price range of $200? Here is what I can buy with $600 and yes this was my first thought. One month's worth of groceries for my family, a Cancun vacation for one including airfare and all-inclusive amenities for a week, a down payment on a new car that isn't rusting out on the driver's side door, twelve cartons of cigarettes and a box wine, or gasoline in my car six months. That is a lot of cool and important things. Okay, some don't fit in either of those categories, but they add up to $600.

My plan was to see the email, pretend I didn't see the email and then say "Oh the tragedy of it all!!! I missed my chance to pay $600 for a two day conference with people in blazers who have tens of thousands of people reading their blog. It's unfortunate, but there is always next time." Then I would do the same thing next time.

Here is how it worked out instead. Erin messaged me. "They just opened the site to buy tickets. Just wanted to make sure you saw the email." I felt bad already. Then I saw the email from Alt Summit.
"Get your tickets for our Salt Lake City conference at Grand America for $630. Limited number of tickets available."
Here is the truth of the matter. I didn't have fifteen bucks to put gas in my car. I was eagerly awaiting payday and packing myself peanut butter and honey sandwiches. There wasn't $630 for a conference ticket. We had just bought new glasses for school, new clothes for the kids and my car needed breaks. Our dog was sick and I had maxed out my credit card taking him in to the vet. Nada, my friends, there was no money. We had our savings account for emergencies which had been recently depleted and we were headed into the over draft on our personal account. I tell you this not so you are sad, but because this is real life. There was no way I was going to need a blazer.

Here is what I expected to happen; I would mention how ridiculous the cost was, have a good laugh with my hubs about the whole absurd ordeal and go on with my life. It didn't play out that way.
"Holy shit, they are seriously charging $630 for those conference tickets I told you about." I said.
"Do they have any left?" he asked.
"I don't know. I just saw an email from Erin, but it is probably close to selling out. Isn't that nuts, though? Who pays that much for two days?"
"You need to get on your laptop and see if you can get a ticket."
I was floored. "There is no money, like anywhere."
He pulled out a business card. "If this doesn't work, we know it wasn't meant to be. You deserve to be there. You are a great writer, you have a great blog and this is your job."

The card went through and a few hours later the conference was sold out. I didn't think it was possible and that's where I get backed up. These are the terms that float around in my brain; I can't, there isn't, no way, stop dreaming. My hubs, on the other hand, sees the possibility in everything. Thankfully, including me.