While attending a movie last night there happened to be a peach of a woman sitting behind me and dumb ass bitch in front of me...which makes me the luckiest movie goer ever. The lady behind me seemed to have forgotten that she was at a children's movie on a Sunday evening where there would most likely be children. An adorable little girl was commenting on part of the movie and laughing when this uptight haag behind me says "Ugh, kids." Really? I am more worried about a 50 year old woman that attends a G rated movie alone and has a stick shoved so far up her ass that a child's voice would seem like the biggest annoyance of all time.
The teeny bopper in front of me who was obviously being bribed to take her baby brother to a movie, decided to text and check email on her phone through the entire movie. Although I love seeing a glaring blue screen while watching a movie with my kids, I really wanted to grab her phone and break it in half. Even me kicking her seat and making comments about turning of cell phones didn't thwart her efforts to keep in contact with what I can only imagine was some asshole boyfriend that loves her so much he needs to know her whereabouts at all times.
The Moral: If you are old and crotchety and intent on going to a kid's movie with no kids, please stop being a child hating beast for a couple hours. Two, if you must have your cell phone on in a movie so you can text your controlling boyfriend, please sit in the last row of the theater so I don't have to dream about grabbing your ponytail and making a scene in front of your little brother.
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