You May Be Taking This A Little Too Seriously

Today while pretending to enjoy an afternoon dip in an over chlorinated indoor swimming pool, I had the pleasure of being introduced to what I termed "Nazi Lifeguard". Built like a professional wrestler with a face only a mother could love she was tweeting her whistle at every minor infraction including but not limited to: holding on to the edge of the pool, splashing, not being within 2 inches of your 7 year old who has been capable of swimming for three years now, and general merriment. Here is my advice to you 16 year old swim student with a man face....until you have children and attempt to take them to a public pool that has somehow fit 500 people in it, don't tell me how to swim with my kids. Any parent will tell you that kids in water is one of their biggest fears and I would agree. The last fucking thing I plan on doing is completely ignoring my kids while they sink to the bottom of the pool. My offspring were being properly cared for and I did not appreciate your tweet followed by stink eye. I am pretty sure you were not so concerned with my children's safety as you were making sure everyone knew you were in charge. So, we got it Rose...you are the big man on campus. Yes I mean man and the campus is high school so congratulations. You win.