It's Hump Day and your chance to get a itty bitty sex lesson from someone with no degree, few partners and a complete lack of censorship.
I want to start off by giving you a link to an interesting article I read today out of NYC regarding a new campaign that the New York Health and Human Services recently launched. Whether or not you agree with how they are going about dealing with teen pregnancy prevention, it is hard to deny the statistics about how teen pregnancy can affect the parents and children. Check it out at http://www.amsterdamnews.com/health_care/nyc-ad-campaign-to-prevent-teen-pregnancy/article_c07b3098-8bf4-11e2-b727-0019bb2963f4.html
As you may have read in previous posts, as a kid I had an avid interest in all things sex. I also had an interest in masturbation and by interest I mean I loved touching myself. Now, we can go back and forth for hours about whether or not it's appropriate to talk to your kids about touching themselves for pleasure but let me just remind you, they will do it anyway. It's a lot like sex....you can hide behind not talking about for only so long before your kids will have urges and either have a great sexual experience because you talked to them about it or feel like a sexual failure for the rest of their lives because you didn't.
It's commonly thought that boys have more of a tendency to diddle their noodle than girls do but I can attest to the fact that girls are diddling too, we just hide it better. I was introduced to masturbation at a young age and by age 8 I was a pro at hiding under the covers and doing what felt good. I didn't know what it was called at the time and I also didn't feel bad about it because my parents had never told me that my body or any of its parts were gross and appalling. When I began attending the LDS church with my friend at age 11, I learned from 'the scriptures' what a dirty little girl I really was. The Word of Wisdom was very clear about masturbation and I started questioning my long held beliefs about my body. You know, that it was normal and great and nothing to be ashamed of. Silly me. The real slap in the face came during one of my yearly interviews with the bishop. I had to go in and prove my Mormon worthiness through a barrage of questions. At one point this middle aged man asked me if I was spiritually clean. I said yes and he proceeded to ask me if I masturbated. My heart sank and I sat in that dingy little office wondering why the fuck some old man needed to know whether or not I touched my vagina. I lied. I then walked out to the parking lot where my mom was waiting and told her everything. As per usual, she gave me great advice and loving support. I never went back to church. Quick side note: Don't fucking tell me that I shouldn't let one person represent a whole religion because that is exactly what a bishop should do, be a representative of his religion.
In my opinion, not talking to your kids about all aspects of sex is exactly where so many people go wrong. Teaching your children that their body is gross and dirty sets them up for a lifetime full of self doubt and quite possibly the inability to enjoy sex in a loving relationship. It also keeps them in the dark about how to pleasure themselves in or out of a committed relationship. Masturbation and open dialogue with my mom kept me from getting pregnant in high school, contracting STD's or getting into sexual situations that I couldn't handle. I didn't feel like masturbation was bad nor did I have a desire for sexual intercourse at 15 years old. I liked boys and I was definitely sexually experimental in other ways, but I knew that sexual intercourse, for me, was something to be shared with a person I was in a committed relationship with. While my first time was not as pleasurable as the hundreds of times since, it was with someone who respected and loved me for many years after. I am pretty sure he still does. At 21, I was probably the oldest virgin in my graduating class and I doubt I would have been voted as the last person in the yearbook to get laid. But I was. It's safe to say that masturbation saved my life. I think I'll get a shirt printed with that as the inspirational quote. And wear it to church.
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