How To Teach Yourself About Sex

I am sure this comes as no surprise that I was an odd child. I had an unnatural curiosity about sex at a young age and to my moms chagrin, she was the person I chose to come to about every question I could possibly think of. Growing up, my mom was sheltered  when it came to matters of "private parts" so there were many times I imagine she wanted to fill her ears with hot wax and find a wine cellar to hide in when I came rumbling through the house with my sex inquisition.
At age 7 I walked in  on my parents having sex. I blame them for not only forgoing a bedroom lock but also feeling the need to rid their bed of sheets and blankets before gettin' it on. What I saw would have shocked most children but I just had lots of questions about why, how and specific conditions for that type of behavior. I approached my mom with them all the next day while we were hanging laundry outside. She was patient and explained the whole "finding someone you love, being married and how the parts all worked". I was enthralled.
I started masturbating at age 8 and that made me wonder what the point of sex was. Who needs another persons baggage and sweaty ass when I could handle the joys of my body all alone? At age 12, I found a book that would change my life forever. Love and Sensuality. The front cover of this book had a somewhat 70's porn feel to it with two adults staring into eachothers eyes and posed with soft lighting around them. I knew this book was not geared toward my age group and I had to have it. I read it front to back and looked through it over andover again. It covered everything from sensual touch to masturbation to blow jobs. I felt like I had won the lottery. Other kids my age were learning about abstinence and wondering which hole to stick what and here I was with the bible of sex education.
While you may assume it made me want to go out practice, this information did the opposite for me. I now knew exactly how babies were made and how STD's were transferred from one person to the other and I was in no way interested in any of it. While girls my age were were getting poked and prodded by immature  and I would imagine unfullfilling boys, I was handling my own business and studying up on proper techniques for a day when I was ready to rock the sock off some guy I could see myself making pancakes with the next morning. You want to know how to keep kids away from sex? Teach them the ins and outs of what sex is, what respectful sex looks like and what it feels like to have your pubes on fire for 6 months. Abstinence is easy when you know you can have an orgasm  alone in the comfort of your twin bed. Why not stop teaching kids how horrible it is to touch themselves and instead teach them how horrible it is to get AIDS or raise a kid with no income? 
I was also lucky enough to be so unattractive in high school that I enjoyed the company of gay men on a more regular basis than straight guys. They wanted nothing to do with my vagina, but were more than happy to instruct me in the ways of the blow job. At 18 I was having contact with straight men in the form of making out and other safe sexual encounters but my virginity lay in wait for just the right moment. In a community that took pride in having the highest teen pregancy rate, I made it to 21 before I got my cherry popped and it was just as awful as I  had imagined. Luckily, it was with someone I made pancakes with the next day and we spent some time perfecting the art of sex. Which, as most of you know, is much more fullfilling than a 15 year old romp in your parents dingy basement with a creep that you have to see in math class the next day. Tell your kids.