Hunk o' Junk

It's Twisted Tale Tuesday which equates to me blabbing about whatever the hell I want and you coming along for the ride. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @BrasherMandy and keep up on what a twit I really am.
The idea for this post came to me as I was getting stoked for one of our many vacations. Luckily, I married a laid back guy who is super fun to travel with and loves to spend money on trips. We have people ask us all the time "How do you take so many vacations?" We are not rich and we are pretty frugal travelers, but here is the real secret. We drive old cars.
It has been years since we have had a car payment and I don't think in the twelve years of our marriage, we have ever had two car payments simultaneously. A vehicle, in our eyes, is a hunk of metal that needs to get us from point A to point B with as little hassle as possible. I can name every car I have ever owned and not one of them was bought new nor did I ever carry a loan for longer than two years on any one of them. Car #1-The Lemon-1989 Volkswagen Fox. Volkswagen only made this car for a couple years and let's all thank baby Jesus for that. I doubt I will never own a car with more mechanical and non-mechanical issues than this car had. The broken latch on the hood caused a couple cracked windshields while I was driving, random alarm that we couldn't turn off, transmission issues, consistent brake issues, wiring issues and finally a nondescript problem that caused me to leave that hunk of junk on the side of the road one hot summer day and never look back. I hitched a ride from there and walked to work for a few weeks after. Car #2-The Sport Car-1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse. I absolutely loved this car and I felt like a rock star when I drove it all over Vegas during my single, childless years. Car #3-1997 Nissan Altima- Needed four doors in a hurry when my first monkey was born. Car #4- 2001 Honda Odyssey. You may be surprised to know that this has been my favorite vehicle so far. Having an infant and a toddler was a big enough headache and this little ditty helped immensely. Remote controlled doors, heated leather seats and a DVD player made this the Corvette of Mommy vehicles. Then gas prices hit $456.98 a gallon and seeing myself as others did, blasting rap music in my minivan while my kids hid in the back, made me rethink the van sitch. Car #5 2004 Toyota Corolla. In terms of practicality and gas consumption, this bitch is the best hands down. I drive it now and don't foresee needing another vehicle for a long, long time. Instead of shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for new cars, we have saved and either paid cash or got very small loans through our credit union that we paid of quickly. No fancy dealerships or free hot dog upgrades. We buy used and we are proud of it. Traveling is possible for us because we don't shell out $800 or more per month for a brightly colored hunk of metal.
I was turned off to fancy cars at a very young age, which makes driving a piece of shit a whole lot easier. I admit to profiling people who drive cars that cost more than our yearly income and I cannot be swayed in my deeply held belief that they are all self centered, holy-than-though, non-tipping, arrogant pricks. I think it stems from my childhood memory of a  visitation weekend with my bio-dad who is a car guy. I was piled into a two-seater Porsche with my five other siblings for a trip to the drive-in movie theater. My practical side was screaming "What the fuck!!!" and my teenage side was screaming "This is the most embarrassing moment of my entire life!!". It soured me on fancy cars and people who think they are fancy enough to drive aforementioned cars. It's a fucking car!!!
I would never drive something that my kids couldn't barf in, my dog couldn't shit in or that I would be scared to smoke in. I would much rather tour a Mazatlan beach horseback or share cocktails with my husband in San Francisco than stress about someone breathing on my $50,000 SUV. It would force me to then worry about where to park my asshole car and whether or not I looked dressy enough in pajama pants to drive my kids to school. It's a lot of needless work. I hope that when people see me in my POS car they think "Holy shit, is that what she drives?". It is. The part you don't see is me relaxing on the beach, with a Margarita and a great novel, while you wax that behemoth in your garage. Enjoy your $750 car payment, sucker!!!