Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde And Me

It's been said that there are two sides to every story, but are there two sides to every person? Not the scary two sides that you see on Snapped where the wife is a loving spouse and parent while simultaneously planning a county wide killing spree with her secret lesbian lover. I'm talking about being someone who believes in God, wants to do good, finds joy in life and also thinks a picture like the one you see above is hilarious. A person who can teach their kids to treat others with respect and then jump online to laugh at what people wear to WalMart. I am that person. Not the murdering spouse, but the person who can be enlightened by volunteering and then make a joke about smelling like a homeless person. As a child, my life revolved around black and white, there was no in between and people were good or bad. Even in adulthood, I can't shake the feeling that I need to pick one side or the other.

While at my monthly book club meeting last week, someone brought a game called Cards Against Humanity and I thought that God had dropped a set of golden plates in my lap. (See??? I have issues.) It was my game. If you have ever played Apples To Apples with me (which you all should, at some point) you would know that my favorite cards in that game are Gold Chains, AIDS and Hellen Keller. When I saw what terms I would get to work with in Cards Against Humanity, such as "anal bleaching" and "a pyramid of severed heads", I knew this game was created for me. And I felt a little guilty. I had just spent an month giving and loving and feeling the presence of God/The Universe in my life and here I was laughing at some raunchy card game. Is it possible to be a good person and a bad person wrapped into one neurotic person? Do we all struggle with this? Do some of us hide it?

I am not going to preach to anyone that I am some holy person who thinks of others all the time and prays at every meal, but I am also not the complete ass bag. I'm something just as disturbing.....I am me. I believe in something bigger than me and I also believe in laughing at organized religion. I am passionate about supporting AIDS organizations and I have been known to make light of things that I feel are out of my control, such as cancer, AIDS and other diseases. I love my kids and despise some of the troll children who live in my neighborhood. I have supported gay rights since high school and I have also used the word 'gay' to describe something I didn't like. While playing my new favorite game, I had to wonder if people who had read my month of giving blog would despise me if they knew what else I choose to do with my free time. Which is to laugh at race, religion, Star Wars, nerds, jocks, and everything in between. I find blessings in life, humor in life and I like to poke fun at all of it. Maybe that makes me a horrible person or maybe that just makes me a person.