What I Love And Love To Hate

I am a voyeur. I love to know creepy details about other people and I absolutely adore watching how other people function on a day to day basis. It explains my obsession with people watching at Starbucks and watching reality shows back when they were actually real, ie: Intervention, Dateline and Cops. Huge fan. Maybe you don't care about knowing the details of other people's lives and if that is the case, this post is not for you. Today, I will delve in to the nitty gritty of what I love and the crap that makes me want to slam my head into a brick wall. For those of you who stay interested, it may surprise you to know a few of these things and some of them may have you questioning your affection for me.

Things I Love

-Hiking
This is surprising to me because I hate camping. Find out why in my semi-amusing post about this childhood activity. http://busybeinghappy.blogspot.com/2013/03/why-camping-is-like-work-without.html
I realized two years ago, that being in the mountains without having to sleep there was actually quite therapeutic and an amazing workout. I enjoy pushing my body past what I thought it was capable of, I like sweating a ton, seeing an amazing view and then stuffing more calories in my body than humanly possible. I can justify an Old Fashioned burger from Dairy Delight (the size of my head, no joke) after burning 1,000 calories hauling my ass up a mountain. I look at the top of that mountain and I see food, it's why I don't give up when I really want to sit down and cry.

-Brussel Sprouts
I think they taste yummy, so fuck you.

-Neil Diamond
Huge fan. I grew up listening to to this man and wondering why he didn't marry my mom when he had the opportunity, they would have made an adorable couple. I listen to Neil Diamond radio on Pandora at least once a day and saw the man, the myth, the legend in concert last year. (You will see in the hate list below why I would rather enjoy him on Pandora.) He may not make your list, but I love this son of a bitch.

-Rage Against The Machine When I Am Angry
The proof is in the pudding on this one. It makes me feel better. I crank it up on my shitty car speakers, they crackle and I feel so much better screaming "Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me."

-Bottled water
It tastes better. It's more convenient. I don't care that I have to pay for it. You think I'm a dick and that's just fine with me.

-Smoking
Yes, I have read the Surgeon General's warning. I know about the health effects. I know it makes people angry to see someone they love choosing to smoke. I know people view me as a bad parent for doing it in front of my kids. I know there are consequences. All that being said, I like to smoke and I don't plan to quit anytime soon. I don't need warnings from strangers or eye rolls from people I love and here is why....you get to decide what to put in your body and so do I. Whether you have a taste for prescription drugs, McDonald's burgers or Diet Shit Cola, it's your choice. I get to have one, too.

Things I Love To Hate

-The Goo Goo Dolls, Pink Floyd and The B-52's
Shitty music that makes my ears bleed.

-Concerts
I hate the parking, the crowds, and spending a car payment on one ticket. The real fun begins when I get to my nosebleed seat next to some ass bag who sings louder than the person I paid to see. I need binoculars to see the stage and I want to punch a baby. (I don't punch babies, so relax.) My concert going experience gets worse the older I get, so my one wish is that I never have to go to another one again. Ever.

-Diet Drinks
They taste worse than ass. Don't ask me how I know that. I don't care how overweight I get, I will never volunteer my taste buds for that kind of torture. Drinks were meant to taste yummy....beer, wine, milkshakes, Red Bull, iced tea. You see what I'm saying?

-Waking Up Early
I love people who endlessly vomit the benefits of seeing a sunrise and getting in a 20 mile run before heading to work at 8 am. And by love, I mean hate. There is nothing I need to see more at 6 am than my fucking eyelids. If I have to work early, fine. If I have an event, fine. You will never see me wake up early for the joy of waking up early. Because that is not joy.

-Newborns
I love my kids. I have loved them from the moment that they were a pinto bean in my belly, but I never loved the newborn stage of human beings. It's a lot of crying, pooping, nipple chomping, screaming and restless nights that I just never enjoyed. I suffered through the first three months because people told me it got better and they were right. I love having kids who talk to me, grab a drink out of the fridge and sleep for longer than 2 hours a night. Bless the babies, but I am not a person who wishes my kids were infants again.

-Horror Movies
At the tender age of 10, I was invited to a birthday party for a girl in my class whom I didn't know very well. When I arrived we did normal kid stuff like eating cake and playing games. Then the party took a turn for the worse. She put in Nightmare on Elm Street and while everyone else watched in amazement, I secretly puckered my asshole for fear I would shit myself. We were then led outside where we would be sleeping in a tent and waiting for Freddy Kruger to come tie us up over a bed where we would plummet into the depths of hell. No thanks. I called my mom, went home early and have hated horror movies ever since. Please argue this point with me...how fun it is to be scared. Wrong. I get scared when my seven year old jumps out from behind a door and I nearly fainted when the guy with the fake chain saw chased me out of the haunted house. Pass.

-Sex Anywhere But In A Bed
Yes I am a Scorpio and yes I have a sex drive. I don't like being uncomfortable. I don't like giving others the opportunity to see me in a vulnerable position. Don't feel bad for my husband, the thirteen years we have been together tells me he has accepted this quality in me. I have sex in the comfort of sheets and memory foam mattresses. No elevators, no tents (SOOO GROSS), no stairwells or back seats. I have tried it, and similar to Pink Floyd The Wall, I fucking hate it.

I will be honest, I could go on and on, but I think we have made good progress today. Please, please, please comment below and let me know what you hate, what you love and why.Your favorite food or a band that you wish would get lost in the Bermuda Triangle. I'd like to know that I'm not the only one who wonders how the Goo Goo Dolls ever obtained a record deal. It's like my own reality show.

If you haven't had a chance, please read my most recent article on making a bucket list, it's over at mythirtyspot.
http://www.mythirtyspot.com/2013/08/finding-bucket-list-in-our-30s.html