Skinny Cow

I know it's a trademarked food brand but I'm not paying royalties. I'm not posting about ice cream bars that keep you satisfied (which they don't) or keep you at a healthy weight (nope...that either). I want to talk about people who are thin, who have always been thin but are "unhealthy". Now, those of you who have known me in the last few years are like "This bitch has never been fat...yada yada, she doesn't know about real weight problems" and you are wrong. Which means I am right. And I love being right. I was fat in junior high and high school. I actually never thought I would be thin as long as I was consuming food. That proved to be pretty true. It took learning to accept running as a necessity in my life and limiting my food intake to be at the weight I am today. It's a lot of fucking work. If I miss a workout, my pants don't fit. If I eat ice cream, I look pregnant. I was, how do they say, blessed (????) with an apple shape body. Which is a nice way of saying I get super chubby in the middle with creepily thin legs when I gain weight. I spend a good hour or so a day thinking about what I am eating, how many calories I have consumed and whether or not that 100 mile run was enough to compensate for a decent supper. I didn't like being chubby. I don't look forward to being chubby ever again. I am not making decisions for anyone else, it's me. I have body issues.
Here is where it gets interesting. Hopefully. I went out with my sister the other night, who by the way is built like a super model. (That was really fun being the only fat person in my house growing up.) The only time she has ever put on a little weight was when she was waitressing at a greasy spoon and was on a strict deep fried  only diet. Still she looked good. It's rather challenging to look fat when you have 5 feet and 10 inches of length and 75% of that is leg. She is naturally thin and tall. She eats and drinks whatever she likes and I'm doubtful that she has one fucking thought about calories. Ever. While we were out, I mentioned how thin someone was (because I have issues) and she said "Well, they might be thin, but they are unhealthy" and I said..."I will take that any day of the week". I can't imagine waking up and eating my weight in french toast everyday, followed by a comfy pair of size 2 jeans and and fitted tee, then looking in the mirror and not seeing a rupturing gut hanging over the top of my low cut jeans. That would be fucking amazing!!! Am I unhealthy? Probably. Because if I could get away with eating a block of cheese and and entire pan of lasagna without getting fat, you can bet your ass I would. Vanity is the only thing that keeps me from living the dream.
What is healthy anyway? I can think of maybe 5 people I know who could be considered healthy. They eat good everyday, workout, do strength training, don't smoke, don't drink and sleep 8 hours a night. The rest of us are a bunch unhealthy slugs who make goals that last long enough to realize how unfulfilling the gym and rice cakes really are. So...unhealthy thin? I would love it. I'm unhealthy now so it's not a great leap of faith to imagine being unhealthy and skinny whilst giving me the ability to drink Alfredo sauce by the quart. I want to know what it's like to have one size of clothing for an entire decade, a pair of favorite jeans that fit perfectly every time and a stomach that doesn't change size with a glass of water.
Here is the disclaimer before anyone gets mad and throws a computer: Being a good person is important. Being happy is important. That said,  I would love to spend a week being unhealthy skinny. I have spent my life being unhealthy fat, chubby, thinner, pregnant, healthier and I will be the first to tell you, it's not all it's cracked up to be.