My sister is wonderful in so many ways, but one quality she possesses that I adore are her hand written thank you notes that she sends for everything. She mails them when you spend an evening with her, when you make a salad to share at a BBQ and for just about anything she finds gratitude in. Being a recipient is always a blessing and this inspired my first gift.
I have a challenging relationship with my in laws. There are times I am offended by them and times they are surely offended by me. I'm not sure I was their first choice for someone to marry their youngest son. When I began this challenge, I had an aha moment regarding my in laws. I felt an overwhelming need to thank them. They raised the man I married. A man who has always been respectful of me, has cared for me and treated me better than any man I have had in my life. He is a patient father, an honest businessman, and a consistent provider. My in laws raised the man I love today.
I sat down and wrote out a thank you card that I had bought at Target and after reading it over I proceeded to rip it into a million pieces. It wasn't perfect. I found another card in my desk drawer and tried again to perfectly portray my gratitude. My handwriting bugged me and the lines weren't even. I wanted to edit it a few hundred more times, but it was in pen and I had to let go of the idea of it being perfect.
As I dropped it in the mail, I remembered the feeling of receiving a thank you card from my sister and how powerful a small card with handwritten words can be. My in laws deserve to experience that joy, as well.
Sunday July 7, 2013 Day 2: A Rub Down
I went to massage school back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. There was a year when I worked as a therapist in Vegas, met my hubs and gave it up for a life of babies, cooking and mental breakdowns. There have been many times I have offered a back rub to my family, my kids and even close friends. There is one person who I know loves my back rubs more than anyone on the planet, my hubs. Here's the deal, he makes me crazy as the person on the table. He talks, fidgets, moves the sheet, and makes inappropriate comments. (Funny, but inappropriate.) When he complains about lower back pain or sore hamstrings, I pretend I'm deaf or suggest that he find a massage therapist. Someone who is not me.
Yesterday, my man spent most of the day cleaning up the yard for a neighborhood gathering at our house. He even edged and cleaned up dog poop without me asking. We did a quick workout together and then he set up games for the kids in the front yard and played catch with our kiddos. While he wasn't initially thrilled with the idea of everyone coming to our yard, he socialized and laughed and inspired me. He deserved a gift.
I set up my massage table and gave him a gift that he is always asking for without him having to ask. He talked and fidgeted and drove me nuts, but I knew he was grateful. Gift two was a success and I learned something about me that I don't like; I put a lot of time and energy into relationships that aren't working and forget to nurture the ones that are. It's easy for me to forget those who are always here in order to impress the ones who never are. That bullshit ends today.
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