Day 28: Hello Neighbor and That Body
We dragged the kids out of the house this evening and went for a family bike ride/walk. There are many neighbors on our street who we know, wave to and borrow sugar from and quite a few I have never even seen. As we made our way down the sidewalk, I noticed one of the people I have never met standing on her porch, watering a pot filled with lush, bright colored flowers.
"Your yard looks beautiful. How are you today?" I smiled and slowed my pace.
I'm pretty sure I startled her. She looked at me curiously and finally replied.
"I'm great, thanks."
That was it. My gift was connecting and sharing a smile with someone who is no longer a stranger.
I also began going through my closet to create a bag of donations for homeless women in Salt Lake. I have a sickening amount of clothes that don't fit me anymore and I was finally ready to purge. There is a huge part of me that wants to fit into the size 2 jeans I bought last fall and the low cut denim capris I was going to fit into when I dropped that last 5 pounds. It's an obsession that I am done with. I work out three times a week, eat what I like, drink beer, and I want to have clothes that I can wear comfortably right now. I've spent the summer being angry at my body and not getting dolled up because my shorts didn't fit or the tank top I put on showed my tummy bulge. It's insanity. I have spent so much of my life hating my body and I turn 35 this year. There is no part of my psyche that benefits from my obsession with size or the number on a scale. I'm ready to be happy about my muscular thighs, the belly roll that reminds me I have two great kids and a rear end my husband can't keep his hands off of. I'm ready to love my body.
I sorted out an entire garbage bag full of clothing to donate and I will be delivering it this week. When I set out to purge it was focused on giving some of my stuff away to those who need it, it turned out to be an inspiring moment about loving my body. Loving it the way it looks right now.
Day 29: The Boots
There are very few times in my life where I have spent more than $75 on a pair of shoes, an item of clothing or a purse. Clearance racks and thrift stores are my go-to choices for shopping. Here are the times I have allowed myself to let the dollar bills fly: I owned a pair of black leather, knee high combat boots in high school that I spend $120 on, I bought a dress on clearance at some fancy boutique two summers ago for $100, last winter I bought my first pair of Frye boots and a few years ago I spent way to much on a pair of knee high Timberland boots that I liked, but never really loved. Other people loved them and the few times I wore them out, they garnered many compliments, but they just never felt like me.
My sister, on the other hand, loved those boots and put in a request the first time I wore them that if I ever wanted to get rid of them, she would take them off my hands. As I went through my closet this weekend, I found those Timberland boots. I hadn't worn them at all in the last year and there was dust and a wad of cat hair that had made my expensive boots their home. What to do? I could resale them and have a few bucks for myself. I could keep them, which is what I should do considering how much I spent on them. I could give them to my sister. That's what I wanted to do. That would be my gift for the day.
It was harder than I thought to hand them over, to watch her put them on and start planning all the adventures that she and my boots were going to have. But then it was over. My life was just as wonderful as when they were in my closet and yet it had made my sister giddy to get her hands on those boots. That is what this life is about. Giving, sharing, donating, and doing for others. It's been my lesson throughout this entire challenge, I have enough to share with others. Whether it is my time, money, a kind word, a smile or a pair of boots. There is enough for all of us.
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